film

Moonstruck [1987]

Moonstruck is a film centred on Loretta (played by Cher) – a widowed woman who believes she has been cursed with bad luck when it comes to relationships and love. She’s found Johnny (Danny Aiello). He’s a nice man, who is sensible – someone she admits she does not love but likes a great deal, so when he proposes to her in the opening scene, it makes sense why says yes.

There’s just one catch before they can have the big wedding Loretta wasn’t privy to first time around… Johnny desperately wants his estranged younger brother, Ronny present on the day of his marriage.

Suddenly, Johnny’s mother has taken ill in Italy so he must fly home to be with her as she dies. He leaves Loretta with the mission of phoning-come-tracking-down Ronny and ensuring his attendance at their wedding.

There had been bad blood between the boys since an incident five years ago. Johnny didn’t tell Loretta what it was, just that something had happened.

Ronny (Nicolas Cage) works in a bakery. And shortly after Loretta arrives, she uncovers the truth of the incident. Ronny has a wooden prosethetic hand. He blames Johnny for distracting him at a pinnacle moment around machinary, causing not only, the loss of his hand but ultimately the loss of his fiance, who left after the incident.

Ronny adamently states he doesn’t want any part in Johnny’s life or his wedding.

Loretta offers to make Ronny dinner at his apartment so they can discuss things further but during the meal, he infuriates her to the point where she calls him a wolf and suggests he deliberately cut his own hand off because he wanted out of the entrapment that is a relationship.

He flips the table in a ultra-dramatic fashion, then, runs his non-wooden fingers through his hair,in an ultra-cool fashion. It’s an awkward moment when she’s just sitting in her chair, watching him, agast but even more awkward when he pulls her toward him and lands a passionate smooch on her lips. She reciprocates the kiss, pulling away for a moment before allowing him to carry her, (bridal-style – ha!), to the bedroom where it’s implied they definitely get it on.

Movies made in this era really got away with some shit.

The next morning, Loretta is full of guilt while Ronny has no regrets. He feels reborn with Loretta, finally complete. Though frantic and ashamed she also finds him appealing but asks him to promise they will never see each other again. Ronny agrees to this – so long as he can have just one night at the opera with her. She concedes.

The theme of adultery or cheating has already been well established, with us seeing Cosmo (Vincent Gardenia), Loretta’s father, out at dinner with another woman right at the start of the movie, and again, later, when Loretta is at church to confess her adultery with Ronny, she runs into her mother, Rose (Olympia Dukakis) who says she is concerned Cosmo is cheating. Loretta tells her she’s being silly and to put the thought out of her mind.

The day of the opera, Loretta gets her hair dyed and styled at a salon. She arrives at the MET looking goregous, where Ronny is anxiously waiting to see if she will show. When she hands him her coat to check in, his eyes linger on her and he says, “Wow. Thank you.”

Fun Fact: At the time of filming, Cher was 41 and Cage a wee 23-year-old.

Loretta, who previously claimed to “not get” the opera is deeply moved by the performance. There’s a beautiful shot of Cher turning to look at Cage with tears rolling down her beautifully painted face, showing him now she understands.

Upon their exit from the auditorium, Loretta witnesses her father with a woman and realises her mother had been right to suspect him of cheating. She lashes out with obvious judgement but when he notices her date isn’t her finace, they agree to say they didn’t see each other there with comical dialogue.

Though Loretta resists, her and Ronny return to his house where they spend the night together, once again.

Upon her return to her parent’s home the following morning, she is distressed to learn Johnny is back from Italy and will be arriving to see her momentarily.

When the doorbell rings, she is shocked to find Ronny has arrived “to meet the family”. Despite her protests, her mother invites Ronny in for breakfast and he graciously accepts.

Get ready. Because the whackiest really is yet to come.

Other characters we’ve met but aren’t integral to the story – Loretta’s aunt and uncle also turn up at this point. Cosmo’s father also makes his way downstairs until there’s a full kitchen. Loretta is beside herself while Ronny politely introduces himself to members of her family – her mother letting them know he is brother of Johnny, her intended.

In front of many family members, Loretta’s mother, Rose asks Cosmo to stop seeing “her” – the woman he has been cheating with. For a strange moment, we can be forgiven for thinking he’s going to storm out but he just stands, thumps the table, simply sits back down and says, “Okay.”

Johnny finally makes his appearance where he explains to Loretta that his mother is no longer dying and he can’t marry her. Loretta villifies Johnny for this, saying, “You can’t make a promise if you’re not gonna keep it!”

He asks for the ring back, which Ronny promptly asks to borrow and immediately uses to propose to Loretta with.

She accepts and the family celebrate. Cosmo’s father even brings Johnny a glass of champagne and tells him to come join in as, afterall, he is part of the family now.

10/10 strange. 7/10 wholesome.

Mandy [2018]

     Panos Cosmatos has created a whirlwind of fuckery in this elaborately sadistic and disorientating, ultra-psychedelic horror/thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough and Linus Roache.

     The film opens on Red Miller, returning from his job as a logger to his humble home – a small cabin by a lake – somewhere near the Shadow Mountains, where he lives a quiet life with his likeminded partner, Mandy Bloom.

     The couple have made a little haven, away from any people or troubles – a place for just the two of them. And they appear to be content with their life and absolutely infatuated with each other.

Mandy is a fantasy artist and avid reader in her spare time. She also has a day job working as a gas station attendant at the local fuel stop.

She first encounters Jeramiah Sand, a self-proclaimed Messenger of God, on her walk to work. He only sees her from a moving car.

And what might’ve taken ten seconds in reality – takes perhaps two minutes in the film. The scene begins to loop. We see it from a distance and then close up; in standard colour and then in only high-contrast red tones. The pair exchange only eye contact.

Both continue on their seperate ways but everything has already changed for Mandy …she just doesn’t know it yet.

An intense combination of epic cinematography and unique visuals ensues as Jeramiah and his LSD-fueled, Jesus-obsessed cult are somehow able to summon demon-men on ATVs to their bidding.

The thing Jeramiah wants? Mandy. He explains to his “hippie” band of followers that when they – he and Mandy – saw each other, it was as if their souls had intertwined and, now, he needs her. (He wants to bone the cute girl he saw).

And so, Mandy and Red are attacked and subdued by the wild gang of bikies-come-demons and the cult arrive for Mandy, while Red is restrained outside with barbed wire.

The only two women that we see in the cult, drug Mandy on her arrival by squirting liquid LSD directly into her eye and stinging her throat with a particuarly heinous and exotic-looking Giant Black Wasp that they keep in a jar before escorting, or rather dragging, her to Jeramiah.

Thus ensues possibly my favourite scene in the whole flick.

**SPOILERS CONTAINED BELOW**

In essence, Jeramiah majorly blows wind up his own asshole in a speech to Mandy while she descends into an intense trip. He even plays her a song he has written, about himself and then reveals his penis and naked body, seeming certain she will be as eager to give herself to him as he is to her. Instead, she laughs and screams hysterically.

Utterly humilated and defeated by lack of connection with Mandy, Jeramiah stabs Red in the abdomen and has Mandy’s body brought forward in a heshan sack and burns her alive in front of Red.

Coming to after the home invasion and immolation of Mandy, Red is – in short – an epic fucking mess. All that remains of his lover is dust. The emotions Nicolas Cage give us are not limited or cheap but extensive and rich. He is fully committed to the character. Red’s grief is loud, powerful, scary.

Quickly, Red is determined to seek vengeance on the bikers, the cult, anyone who had anything to do with what happened to Mandy.
“There were bikers …gnarly pyschos …and crazy evil!”
From this point on, we are totally captivated by everything Cage says and does. He is on a complete rampage and I am absolutely here. for. it.

I was entirely convinced that because Mandy’s body had been in the bag when it was burnt, that it was likely she was still alive and the cult had just burnt something else and took Mandy with them when they left. I was wrong. She dead.

This is one of those films where you will either love or hate it because it is such an intense story, combined with visuals and a soundtrack that move you. I felt numb at times watching this. I felt like I was tripping. I felt manic. And that’s why I think it’s a pretty amazing piece of filmmaking but I can understand a lot of people not liking it, for it making them feel the exact same way.